Mothers, Don't be Afraid to Make Your Kids Work: It's Good For Them

Moms, I do not feel guilty for asking my wonderful children to help me around the house.
Why don't I? Because it's good for them, and because I need the help. Kids may balk at the idea of helping, and even scowl a bit, but when they grow up they will thank you. I don't know what I'd do without these wonderful helpers. Another thing that I keep in mind is that I should praise them for a job well done, and let them know I value them. All the kids help and some jobs are done for pay. Many jobs are done just because, "We live here and we all contribute to the mess, so we all help!
I work along side my children and help them with their chores just like they help me with mine.
The kids are happy to help me and in trade I take them and their friends places like youth group. This is a typical Wednesday night me driving my three older kids and their friends home. Look how tired I am, but it's so worth it.
I enjoy talking with the kids as we drive home. They are usually excited and have lots to say.
I get to hear what happened during church, and we laugh a lot. I'm going to miss them when they begin driving themselves.
I think balancing work, chores and duities with FUN, is VERY important. Here are Victoria in the blue and some girls from church. All the girls in youth group made a meal together and ate it.
Here are Jessica in the brown, and two friends.
I stayed to participate and enjoyed meeting new girls at youth group and spending time with them. As you can see the work I make my own two girls do hasn't hurt them a bit. Jessica is on the fair left in brown, and Victoria is wearing the baby blue dotted shirt. Here they are jumping for joy with their youth leader. Keep in mind moms that you should take care of yourself and get a little help from your children. Take time to give yourself a facial. At my age it takes more effort to look good. Put your feet up and have that cup of tea, or soak in the tub. Spend time with the Lord and give Him all your cares. Have a blessed day ~ Kathi

My Sister's Bookshelf

I just love my sister Sharon's bookshelves. They are filled with books about being a good wife and mother from a godly perspective. She and I have collected our books over the years at used bookstores and Goodwill. We both love learning how to please our husbands and love our children. She said this one helped her when she began working from home. We look for books with Scripture written by godly women. We both have shelves of these books, which we have actually read and highlighted, and some day plan to pass on to our daughters and daughter-in-laws.
I love the way Sharon adds little figurines and doilies to her bookshelves. She even has a card catalogue. We talked a lot about the Lord and prayed together. I'm so thankful for my sister.
This is Sharon I am so encouraged by her when I get to visit her home. "God's favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Dimes In the Phone Book

When I was about this age (I'm on the far left), my dad left a huge impression on me. All of us kids were with dad at the market. He wanted to check with mom on some things she might need. He called from the phone booth. Back then you only needed a dime to make a call.
Dad took a little longer than usual to make his call. When he came back to the car, he explained to us kids that when he put his dime into the slot, every dime in the phone came pouring out. All eight eyes stared brightly at Dad in wonderment. "Wow, Dad hit the jackpot!" All of us were thinking, "Does he get to keep all those dimes?" Secretly we hoped he could; that's a lot of candy for a kid, and we're here at the store; how convenient! He soberly told us that he had called the operator and asked her what he ought to do, because the phone had emptied itself. She told him she would push a certain button, and if he'd put them back they would stay. And he did. Our little selfish selves were a bit disappointed for not getting that candy money, but greatly impressed with our Dad's integrity. Instantly we knew he had done right. Immediately we all became different that day. We wanted to be honest like Dad.

The impression Dad left with me was one I shall never forget. He didn't want anything that did not belong to him. He knew God was watching, and wanted to please Him. He also knew that four young lives were watching him. I like the phrase..."More is caught than taught..."
Did someone leave an impact on your life at an early age, which caused you to act with integrity or think in a more noble way? If so, who was this person? Temptation is different for each of us, and comes in varying degrees. Remember, from one of my earlier posts, that my dad received only a single dime once a year on his birthday. Can you imagine that this may have been a substantial temptation for him to see all those shiny dimes roll out of that machine? I never asked you, Dad if you had to think about it, or whether it was an instant reaction to return the money. You can answer this question and I will post it.

Have a lovely Tuesday, Kathi
"For we are taking pains to do what is right, and not only in the eyes of the Lord, but also in the eyes of men." 2Cor. 8:21

I Was Disappointed With What I Saw On Oprah About Mothering: Part 1

This post is for young mothers with young children. Welcome to my blog. This is a long post. I usually don't write this much, but I have a lot to say.
I am one of the older women, who is willing to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children. I do not watch the Oprah show much if at all, but I happened to find out about this one particular show and tuned in. The Oprah show that I saw had many women telling the truth about how hard it is to be a mother and that no one had warned them about this. Many of them had dealt with postpartum depression and sorrow at the loss of their identity as a career woman. They are right about the level of difficulty and depression. That is not my complaint with them. These women shared their deepest secrets of low self worth at being "just a stay at home mom," and feeling the snub of professional women towards them. I'm not disagreeing about that either, because I too, doubted myself and had many women "pity me" and trivialize what I was doing. I was disappointed in the lack of pride and professionalism they had for their JOB as wife and mother. They obviously could not have taken their privileged position as a mother very seriously or reverently. On one side of the coin I'm nodding my head in agreement as they mentioned demands placed on them for their time and energy. I myself have been there. I had three small children all in a row, with one being a colicky baby. I was turned off by many of these women for what they called "Their dirty little secrets." One woman admitted that her twins went three weeks without a bath once. She laughed when she told it. I agree that mothering sapped me of stamina when the children were tiny, and I was not perfect by any means, but I have to ask this woman and the other women, "What were you doing, that was so important that it took time away from bathing your children?" Were they on the phone? The computer? or watching tv? Even in nature we see sweet mother cats giving their babies baths and nurturing those little ones. No, I don't have all my ducks in a row and I never have. I've made lots of mistakes in my mothering. It's by God's grace and His answers to so many of my prayers, that the children are turning out so well. We are not finished yet either. Our kids are still between the ages of 17 and 7. We have a long way to go. It's by putting my best efforts and abilities into my mothering that made it wonderful and enjoyable even though it was hard at first. Mothering gets easier as the children become independent. I was a relieved when my son could go potty by himself and get dressed for the day all by himself. I enjoyed seeing him play with his blocks contentedly while I fed or changed baby. There is an ebb and flow to the cycle of mothering. Obviously when a mother has three children three and under she should not be teaching Sunday school each weekend; a mistake I did out of guilt. In desperation I cried and told the church I could not do it any more, out of pure exhaustion. I was replaced by an elderly woman who taught the class with more enthusiasm and energy than I had to give, and she had a concern for those young little lives who needed her talent and wisdom. I was spent. I was the one needing to be revived and nurtured on the weekend. Know this about yourself dear mother of young children; you need times of rest and refreshment. Get a babysitter and go to dinner with your husband. If you can't afford to go out. Put the kids to bed and make a special dinner for the two of you. Watch a movie together that you both enjoy.

I will share a few of my own stories. I will also tell what I did to ensure that I could be a good mother and have a happy home and husband.
The early years of mothering were difficult for me, but being a mother is one of the most rewarding and awesome gifts from God I've been given. I just love being a mother. Mothering goes through many stages. This was one of the hardest afternoons for me back in 1995. I was 35 and my children were ages 8 months, 2 and a half, and 3 and a half. My neighbor Sue took the picture of me with my children. I remember thinking how alone I felt and so unsure of myself. My husband was on a business trip and would be gone for two more weeks to China. Although alone and tired I had to get the kids fed and ready for bed. Harrison and Jessica easily would go right to sleep at 7:45. Victoria would not go to sleep until almost 9:00 pm. Believe me I tried, but she was wide awake. Harrison and Jessica would be up at 4:30 am. I didn't get a whole lot of time to myself; not even to read a book. It was really hard, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I learned so much. I also became more dependent on the Lord for His comfort, support, encouragement and joy. I found a great idea for getting Victoria to stay in bed. I bought some wonderful stories on tape, which she fell asleep to each night. She was happy with this and it gave me time to think, to organize, plan meals, sew, write a letter, veg-out in front of a good movie, call a friend, or be with my man and stay close with him. A mother must have some time to herself to rest and recharge her batteries, so that she can be fresh and ready for tomorrow. A thankful heart is good medicine.
I didn't think I would be as capable with girls has I would be with boys. I expressed my fear to my sister Kelli who had two daughters. I was afraid I couldn't keep up with their hair, ribbons and frilly things. I asked her how I could possibly fix their hair pretty with bows and hair spray for going to church on Sunday. Kelli told me to fix the girls' hair EVERY morning as if we were going out, and then Sunday morning would be a breeze. She was right on about this. I learned to tell my daughters funny stories while I braided their hair in front of the mirror. I called the stories "Herbie and Valerie" stories. Our son Harrison listened to the stories while playing near-by. Each story had a moral. Herbie and Valerie had naughty neighbors named "Chuck and Trudy," who lied and did mean things, while Herbie and Valerie did right, true and noble deeds. The guest mothers on the The reason my children got baths EVERY DAY, sometimes twice a day was because "It was my job." I loved caring for them and having clean smelling sparkling children. Bath time was a luxury for me, because I sat on a chair near the tub while the three of them (when they were quite small) were all in there together and I read a book or did cross-stitch. I could smile at them, wash them, and still have a little piece and creativity for myself. Even if I didn't feel like getting up to change the baby's diaper and begin breakfast, I had to do it and with a good attitude. I knew this. The Lord gave me the ability to be the good mother I longed to be. I called on the Lord for His help to cope and get through each day. I got up 30 minutes earlier each morning just so that I could read my Bible and pray before the children got up. Victoria was a colicky baby. She screamed every waking moment. One day at the grocery store a woman pointedly told me that there was no such thing as colick. One day I longingly looked over at my friend Tammy's little boy who sat happily in the kitchen sink while she bathed him with her broken wrist. I asked her, "Is he always this cheerful and compliant?" She said, "Yep!" (Tammy is pictured above with me and our children). I couldn't believe it. I had forgotten that Harrison, my two year old had been like that too. I kept wondering what it would be like to have a happy baby. Tammy, was beaming with Joy and praising God, even though she had difficulty holding her little one, as she had broken her wrist in a car accident. Also that day her vacuuming cleaner broke and began shooting dirt out of it rather than sucking it up. Her attitude was calm and matter of fact: that they needed a new vacuum and God would provide. And God did provide. We all have things to deal with and it's a joy to see a mother trusting and loving her Lord the way I saw Tammy that day.
There are very hard times, like in the beginning when I didn't get very much sleep. I realized that I began staying up far too late in the evening and waking way too early, just to have time alone. The lack of sleep caused me to feel depressed. I decided to go to bed by 10:00 and wake by 4:30, which gave me all the sleep that I needed, and some time alone. I can remember watching the children like hawks. I never left them alone outside. Even though we lived in a quite and safe neighborhood. I knew that a car could drive up and a person could reach out and grab them faster than lightning, or they could get hurt. Often times I had to go to the bathroom, so I had to bring all of them inside while I went, or I just waited. It's just part of mothering. Sometimes a neighbor would be out and she'd watch them for me, while I made the mad dash inside.
I am not saying I am better than those women on Oprah. I am just saying that I took my job seriously. Notice that I set out the childrens' clothing for them to put on for that day, laying on the dresser in the above photo. After my 4:00 am shower and Bible time, the next thing in the morning I changed the baby's diaper and fed her. The baby went into her walker as the toddlers had their breakfast and while I unloaded the dishwasher, then I started the laundry. After this I brushed the kids' teeth and dressed them, washed their faces and combed their hair. The baby went into the playpen for short time, and the toddlers played with blocks while I swept and vacuumed floors and transferred laundry to the dryer. Another thing I want to mention is I took my phone off the hook, didn't watch tv and didn't get on the computer, unless I was caught up with the house-hold or it was my time= Nap Time for the kids.

By now it would be time for baby's morning nap, I put on a story tape for the toddlers while I rocked the baby to sleep. Next the toddlers and I read stories on the couch for about an hour. We would also kneel at the couch and pray for all the people on our prayer list. The kids would play with toys while I folded clothes. By now baby was awake, needed to be changed and a bottle. We all took turns making baby laugh and smile and playing with her. Baby then went into the walker while I made the toddlers' lunch. After lunch we all went for a walk with baby in the stroller. We'd be gone for about forty-five minutes. Usually we'd play at a playground, then come home. The toddlers colored pictures while I held the baby and read a story to her.

Finally all three children went down for their afternoon nap. For one and a half hours I had time to myself. I could plan dinner, dust, clean toilets, do scrap booking, computer, sew, iron my husband's shirts or read a book. I tried to space out this time and carefully use it wisely. One time the doorbell rang at this time with out of town company who dropped in on me. All three kids woke up when they heard the bell, and were cranky the rest of the day. You just go with the flow when this happens. Believe me, I wanted to cry. After all, I had a lot planned for that precious hour and a half, including a piece of chocolate and a cup of tea for "me time". One thing my sister Sharon used to say is, "Don't people know? --Nap Time is sacred. You don't call or bother a mother with small children, during Nap Time. That's her ONLY TIME!!!" I learned very quickly to take the phone off the hook and place a note over the doorbell.

The children were bathed every evening. Mothers, never waste that bath; save it for bedtime, it makes them sleepy. Babies may need a bath morning and evening or whenever they have a blow-out diaper.

This is my son Harrison in the center with cousins Hayden and Grayson for a fun overnight visit. I learned many things from my two sisters Sharon and Kelli. They had children a couple years ahead of me. I loved the time we shared together and the encouragement I received. Young mothers you need to be encouraged from other experienced loving mothers.

Have a blessed day and enjoy those darling children. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom to raise them to love Him, and patience to nurture them and meet their needs. The Lord will bless you. Of course this is a posed picture of the children and me praying. This is something we did every day. I wanted to remember that we prayed for all our needs and thanked God at the couch every day, so I asked my husband to take the picture. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments...are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and walk along the road, when you lie down and get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads, write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates." Proverbs 31:10-11 and 28-29

The Garden of My Heart

The other day I went out to weed my garden. As I walked past my apple orchard I asked the Lord to please let my life bear much fruit.
When I got out there I realized that there were more weeds than planted items. I was a bit discouraged. I began weeding close to the beans. All of a sudden my husband, Stacey, zipped by on the mower and did his "wolf" whistle at me; the kind of whistle that says, "I like the way you look!" I smiled and waved at him.
He shouted over at me that he'd be glad to help me by using the rototiller on the main paths around the plants. That meant that I'd only have to get the ones close to the plants. I smiled and thanked the Lord for this guy. I had to wonder how God lovingly thought to put two individuals together who grew up so differently. My husband can work circles around me. You see, he is not happy unless he is working. Stacey grew up on a dairy farm. He got up every morning at 4:30 to milk cows; even on Christmas! Cows have to be milked twice a day, so again he'd be out there in the evening. His dad was a full blooded German, and his mother full blooded Lithuanian, both hard working people. Stacey had band practice, FFA, and 4-H in the afternoons. I on the other hand, had the cushy life. I had some chores, but nothing like Stacey. I cooked dinner, did the laundry, cleaned the house, and I did some babysitting. I also, was the type who watched "Gilligan's Island," in the afternoon. I am chuckling just thinking about our first year together. Stacey didn't want to sit and watch sit-coms in the evening. He wanted the two of us to bike down to the university and get some coffee. He wanted to float the Willamette River in the summer evenings with a picnic lunch. He wanted to work in the garden and teach me how to grow things. I quickly started doing these things with him and have enjoyed being his wife so much.
Stacey works for a major corporation out of our home. He amazes me! This is typical, when he takes a break, he jumps on the mower, washes the car, prunes or sprays the orchard, or any number of things. He really has two jobs, his career job and the farm. That is why I say he can work circles around me. He gets so much done.
This is Stacey during one of his breaks from the office job.
I also like to bring lunch to him while he's working. I am more than happy to do this for him because he does so much for me. These are the potatoes, chives, bell pepper, onion, and green beans from our garden.
This is how the weeds looked that evening. Stacey tilled them out for me. I'm so thankful. I often think of weeds and sin together. The Lord used many illustrations about this in the Bible. My heart is like a garden and it can become full of weeds. Weeds of pride, selfishness, and jealousy. I prayed while I was pulling those weeds from my garden and asked the Lord, to take away anything offensive in me.
I asked the Lord to please make it quick and swift; just pull them out, so that there would not be so many "weeds," (much sin) that He'd find it necessary to use a rototiller. Worst of all, I prayed that He would point out my sin to me so that it would not be necessary for me to be humbled in the process; I call this the "Round Up method" for removing weeds/ sin. If you have ever used Round Up on weeds you know that for weeks the ugly weed looks like the above picture. That is what sin looks like in my life when God has had to get my attention by humbling me, like the time I had a lot of pride in my life over home-schooling. I bombed in public. Oh the disgrace. God was faithful and loving to me though, and has forgiven me and helped me along."God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." 1peter 5:5 A garden grows well when it is planted in good soil, watered, pruned, and weeded. Yes, there will be fruit!!! I can believe God that He will help me to bear much fruit in my life. I want the fruit of the Spirit "...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" Galatians 5:22 I cannot possibly muster the will or have the strength on my own to possess this kind of fruit in my life. I need the power of God's Holy Spirit. "I CAN do all things through Christ, which strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13 ...take root below and bear fruit above. Isaiah 37:31 "No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing." John 15:4-5
These verses give me hope that there will be fruit in my life.

I Love My Teen-age Son

Don't touch that dial!! I am purposely playing a song that my son played for me while we drove in the truck. By the time you read this the song will have changed. This post originally had the song "Psycho," which you may change right now on my player if you'd like. I want YOU to feel and sense the whole feeling in this blog. Come along with me as my 16 year old son, Harrison and I go on a "MOM DATE."
I know I know, you are saying, "But, I can't stand this kind of music." Well, just hang in there and pretend you are in the truck with us and can't change it. Soon, you might even like it. Somehow I have grown to like it. I think, because it reminds me of being with my boy.
The next thing on your mind is, "Why is he not driving?" Oh, he has his license. I am driving because we are doing lots of city driving, in the truck, which he is not used to, and it is raining. We have to make lots of stops. He does fine in the car, with city driving. He needs lots of practice in this big truck first.
We made one stop at Bi-Mart, and got hungry. Harrison wanted to go to A&W. He loves their root beer.
I'm not shy when it comes to a good hamburger. YUM YUM. I agree the root beer is the best.
Harrison, who is growing, was still hungry and ate part of mine. We had fun together talking and just being together.
He wanted to go to Goodwill, and look for treasures. He loves comic books and found some cool ones.
I found an excellent cookbook called The Kitchen Garden Cookbook by Sylvia Thompson, a John Grisham video, and a Victoria Secret Cami for $4 bucks. I'm very pleased.
Harrison needed some school clothes. One of his favorite stores is Ross Dress For Less. He got some cool T-shirts, sweat shirts and another hat. He thanked me a lot and wanted to pay half, from his earnings this summer.
He loves his new clothes. Now it is raining quite a bit.
Next, Harrison helped me grocery shop. I love it when he pushes the heavy cart. I used to do that with a full cart, plus two kids inside, and pregnant, going up hill. What an amazing difference this is. God has blessed me with my wonderful son, well, with each one of my children. I'm very blessed.
Now, that we were heading home, I wanted him to practice on the back roads, in the truck, while it was raining.
Do I look confident? I'm trying to be silent. Wait a minute....we are supposed to be going home. What's this?
How did we end up at Game Crazy? Now my son is looking at video games.
Finally we are home and he and his sister, Victoria are helping to bring in all those groceries. We had a really fun time together. I'm so thankful for each one of my children. I am so thankful that my sister Sharon, told me about "Mom Dates." I stay closer to my kids when we have this one-on-one time. I praise God for His answers to my prayer to remain close to my children. I do feel close to each one. My next "MOM DATE," will be with Garrett. Have a lovely day with your children today, Kathi
Mom, Psalm 139 says, "You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb, I praise Thee because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."